Really that’s the answer in and of itself. I grew up wearing a #1 Warren Moon jersey. I went to the Astrodome at ever chance I got. I would ordered Sports Illustrated in the Fourth Grade so I could get the “Clutch City” documentary that tracked the Rockets championship season. (I also got “Clutch City 2″.) I’m embarrassed to admit it…but I even owned a Tony Bosselli jersey. Part of being a true Houston sports fan is despising Dallas.

Dallas is basically this annoying younger brother of Houston that get’s all the love and adoration of the nation. There is an ESPN Dallas, The Cowboys were America’s Team, Nolan Ryan distances himself from being an Astro and works with the Rangers, most people assume Dallas is the biggest city in Texas because of the old TV show “Dallas.” H-Town is perpetually in the sports shadow of Big D and it makes us sick. Yeah we’re bitter! Houston is the biggest metropolis in the state, the fourth biggest city in the nation and we’re cast in the shadow. It stings. It’s as if we’re Jan to Dallas’ Marsha. (If Jan actually could compete with Marsha.)

Watching the finals this year was rough on a Houston fan. Who to cheer for? The rivals you’ve hated all your life? Or the team made by LeBron James in it’s first season?

The South Beach Heat are the target of every traditional basketball fan. It’s the result of how powerful players are in the NBA. They are basketball’s villians. LeBron James makes himself tough to cheer for, I couldn’t root for the Heat. On the other hand, how could I cheer for Jason Terry or Dirk Nowitski? I’ve despised these guys for years. If I cheered for the Dallas Mavericks I’d have to relinquish my ketchup and mustard Hakeem Olajawon jersey.

I watched this series hating booth teams wondering how I would feel when one of them would eventually be crowned champs. As the series went on I was able to watch Dirk Nowitski’s offensive prowess without being on the receiving end of the attack. I was able to watch LeBron continually become the invisible man in the fourth quarter. I was also able to laugh at Dirk’s ability to play defense and be saddened by what’s left of Juwan Howard. And now the Mavericks are champs. My annoying neighbors to the north will have the spotlight on them again and I’ll hear about it incessantly.

This is what I have learned from this year’s finals:

• LeBron can’t win alone. But the Heat will be back. Stronger and hungrier.
• JJ Barea just reminded me of Aaron Brooks.
• I have a newfound respect for Dirk. I still hate him and probably always will.
• Dirk is not a top ten of all-time player because of atrocious defense. He’s a skilled offensive weapon. A big guy that shoots above his head with a nearly unblockable shot.
• Spolestra is a decent coach but will only last until LeBron speaks out against him, next season?
• I’ll never like Jason Terry.
• Dwayne Wade deserves more of LeBron.
• Brian Cardinal might be my favorite Mav. That dude didn’t let anyone have an easy shot. You need a guy like that, ready to foul, old school yo.
• Dallas may have a championship but unless they win again next year and have back-to-back, I don’t want to hear it.

Naturally that’s a good thing. Rain isn’t something you really wish for (with few exceptions: droughts…maybe that’s it). And saying that I will miss bad weather while I’m in beautiful weather sounds sarcastic, however I mean it…to an extent. It rained a bit last night and I found that I was a bit more relaxed all of a sudden. It’s been a bit of a stressful, transitory time in my life. There’s a lot on my mind and when I heard the rain outside everything just stopped for me and my mind was filled with countless memories of home.

Houston isn’t known for great weather. It’s constantly raining randomly. There’s tropical storms and hurricanes. It’s practically summer year round with the hotter months being unbearably hot. Then there’s the humidity. The overwhelming humidity that slowly eats away at a man’s soul. Yet, this is the place that I proudly call home. This is what I grew up with and have grown accustomed to.

Now, I’m surrounded by good weather, for once, and I’ll never complain about it or take it for granted. But last night when it rained and I feel asleep listening to rain drops playing light percussion on my window I felt a little closer to home. I realized, rainy days and thunderstorms are just a part of me in a strange way. As a kid looking out of a window at a rain storm was discouraging. Now, it brings me back home.

Sure I’ll have my Carl’s Jr, and my In-And-Out’s but it will never be able to fill the gaping hole in my stomach that Whataburger used to fill in the wee hours of the night. A lot of my college study sessions were fueled by Whataburger. LA is too far west for the reaches of the Texas based fast food chain. So one of the many things I will miss about Houston is the 24 hour dining option that is Whataburger.

It’s not too late to join the fun. See you there. Click on the above link for more info.

Now that both shows are running I see Doc every night. Every night he’s strolling around backstage talking with everyone. Every night he greets with me something like, “You finally made it!” or “Where have you been? Have you been drinking?!” Then I see Doc again when I’m getting into costume and goofing off in the dressing room, “This is how you get into character!?” he’ll bark. ”Get into character, what’s that?” I’ll ask. “Oh geez, I  hired a moron!” Doc will slap his forehead. “Doc, what show are we doing tonight again?” I take the bait. “Hamlet,” he’ll yell. “I’m guessing that make me Rosencrantz or Guildenstern, maybe both. I need to go look at my lines. Do you have a script?” “You don’t need to know you’re lines, you just need to act,” he exclaims. “Good luck getting us to do that,” someone else will mutter. “Was I talking to you? Ah, I’m surrounded by idiots!” He throws up his hands in frustration and storms out. We’ve done a bit and we all chuckle. He comes back a couple times more to play his part of crazy old man and we all play the part of incompetent actors.

I’m sure some of the dressers think this is how Doc acts all the time. This is just for show though, he wants to cut up just as much as I do. He just likes playing the crazy old man as much as I love playing an ignorant jerk. During the show Doc can be found in the wings, watching the show intensely, saying almost ever line with the actors. I always tell Doc, I just watch him watching me to know how he wants me to say my line. After the show he always tells me how I was the best part of the show and I was marvelous (complete sarcasm, I have a total of maybe four lines), so I tell him he’s lucky to have me or ask if he wants me to autograph his shirt. This is Dr. Berger: quick, witty, always ready for a joke but most of all passionate.  I asked if I could ask him a couple of questions. He said sure if it meant more people would come and see Shakespeare. I then explained to him that two people read my blog. “Two fans that’s a success for you,”  he snapped back. He then pulled some donuts out of the backstage refrigerator and we sat down.

PSJ: You want to heat those up?

Dr. Berger: Nope, this is how I like them.

PSJ: Let’s talk HSF. So 36 years ago you decided to do outdoor theatre in Houston, Texas…

DB: No, no it wasn’t that. When I first came here, I came here to Miller to see what was going on. The thought of having the ballet, the symphony and the opera out here; and all the people coming for free was really quite wonderful. The ambiance was so liberating. And in the theatre, Shakespeare is the only playwright that matched Beethoven and all the others out here. And I wanted to direct Shakespeare more than I wanted to breathe. So, I thought it was the perfect match for my need and what the theatre could accommodate. And that’s how the Houston Shakespeare Festival started.

PSJ: But I mean, this is summer in Houston. Mosquitoes, humidity…

DB: Never gave that a thought. And the reason I didn’t, at least now that I think back on it, is that Shakespeare did it out of doors, in the middle of the city. Just like we are: open air. Nobody complained, nobody worried about it. People go to ball games all the time, they don’t complain about it. You know, the ambiance is completely different. You go to an indoor theatre and if it’s too cold, we worry. If it’s too hot, we worry. But in an outdoor theatre it’s much more liberal and people come dressed in whatever they want. It’s a completely different feeling.

PSJ: Which is funny because I…well I don’t know if you can tell, but I don’t do many Shakespeare shows.

DB: Ha!

PSJ: What I mean is, I tend to do newer shows. Plays that have never been produced or things more non-traditional. The majority of stuff I do is performed in someones backyard, a park or a bar. I love it when an audience can show up casually,  relax and enjoy themselves. Don’t worry about putting on airs for the show. Eat and drink. Yell back at the actors if you want. I enjoy breaking the fourth wall to let the audience know that I know I’m here to entertain them. And none of these concepts are new.

DB: No, we’ve been doing that for centuries. Our theatre is based mainly on Broadway where it was all proscenium, which is a much later device compared to the open air theatre. Which of course was common in Shakespeare’s day.

PSJ: I guess what I’m saying is that now matter how edgy I think that I am, I think I like Shakespeare.

DB: Pffft. Glad to hear it.

PSJ: I’m kidding, I’ve always appreciated Shakespeare. Now I feel I really dig outdoor Shakespeare.

DB: Well people enjoy it. When it’s a good production they want to come back. They’re relaxed, they don’t have to be on their best behavior. They can boo, they can scream–I had an English actor here when I did Richard III, I brought him in from London. One night the audience was screaming and booing. When he got backstage he said, [in a British dialect] “Sidney, Sidney they’re screaming. They’re screaming, what’s going on?” I said, Frank, that’s because they like you. “Really? That never happens in London.” He went back to and told everyone about Houston and how the audience was completely different than what he was used to.

PSJ: What would you say is the impact HSF has made on the city of Houston?

DB: I think the impact is great. The reason I say that is because it’s not this little erudite audience that goes to the opera and stuff like that. Nothing against that, God knows we need them.

PSJ: Gotta love the patrons.

DB: Yes but the fact that common, regular people, many people that have never seen a Shakespeare play in their life come because they can relax. They can wear t shirts and jeans and if they’re bored they can leave and they haven’t spent fifty dollars on a ticket. So I think we attract a huge audience of people that don’t necessarily reflect the other theatres around town.

PSJ: Theatre for the masses, yeah. Let’s talk comedy Doc. With so many avenues for comedy: stand up, sketch, improv, etc.  that pull focus away from Shakespeare is it important for comedians to do Shakespeare, would they look out of place in the script?

DB: You have to remember in Shakespeare’s day they didn’t have television. They didn’t have vaudeville. People still wanted to laugh! They went to the theatre to have a good time for the most part. Yes, he gave them Hamlet and Lear and many more but he also gave them Comedy of Errors. If you look at Comedy of Errors as an example it’s filled with standup comedy. People just stopped the play and did fifteen minutes of standup comedy. They didn’t think it was a bad thing. They thought it was a good thing.

PSJ: I saw your Comedy of Errors at UH a while back—

DB: Shakespeare’s Comedy of Errors.

PSJ: You told me you wrote it. I mean that’s what the playbill said. I’m all sorts of confused now.

DB: Uh huh, sure! Lies!

PSJ: I think that was the first Shakespeare play I really enjoyed, it was fun.

DB: It’s a simple show. I don’t mean that in a negative way. It’s full of comedy routines. The play stops they do a comedy routine. Shakespeare stole; I should say borrowed many of his plots. He had very very few plots of his own.

PSJ: So if a stand up wanted to do Shakespeare we should encourage it.

DB: Well stand up comedians are actors, in my opinion.

PSJ: It’s just a character.

DB: Yeah, they’re playing a character up there.  A great many good stand ups have been good actors: Milton Berle, Red Skelton were really good actors. The idea of standing in front of an audience on your own is no different than acting in a play except you have other actors around you and a plot to follow.

PSJ: Good point. Doc is there a reason why you picked two comedies this year. Why not Hamlet, I know you’re crazy about him.

DB: A lot depends on how I feel at any given season. And this year I just felt like I wanted to uplift the audience. It’s the first time in 35 years we’ve done two comedies and I’m very glad we did. They’re two very different comedies on the other hand the audience’s mood has been lightened because of it.

PSJ: What has been your favorite moment of the festival?

DB: I’ve never had a quote, “favorite moment.” I’ve had favorite plays.

PSJ: Ok.

DB: Hamlet is my favorite play in the cannon, I’ve done it three times. I’d do it again in a second because I think it reverberates with something that is very much the soul of our time. The soul of everything, that’s why it’s the greatest play ever written. Even though it’s cliche, Hamlet is the show I love the most.

PSJ: There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s like going to a place that’s famous for their steak and not ordering the steak because everyone else is getting it.

DB: Exactly. Or it’s like Beethoven’s 5th. Yes, it’s one of the great classics of all time but listening to it still thrills me. Doing Hamlet means a great deal to me every time I direct it.

PSJ: (Laughing.) Your metaphor was way better. So, let’s say a hundred years from now…

DB: We’d both be dead.

PSJ: What!? No, I don’t think so.

DB: I don’t think so either.

PSJ: I’ll find a way to be immortal.

DB: Good.

PSJ: I’m glad your on board with this plan. Alright Doc, 100 years from now we still hopefully have a Houston Shakespeare Festival, right? People look back on the founder of this whole enterprise. What do you want people to say about everything you’ve done?

DB: What I want people to say in one way or another, they don’t have to say it literally, is that being at the Houston Shakespeare Festival changed their lives, made them look at life in a very different way. If I don’t change lives, I don’t want to do this. I don’t mean change the facts that we live with everyday; I mean change the soul and the spirit. That’s what I’m after.

PSJ: One last question. I’m sure it can be rough for you right now. Maybe bittersweet is a better word. I mean, this is your last show. You’re final bow you know? Your famous for quoting Shakespeare on the spot so can you quote something that resonates with you right now and maybe explains how you feel as you retire…

DB: You’re depressing me!

PSJ: Good my job’s done, interview over! That’s all I was trying to do.

DB: (laughs.) What’s wrong with you?

PSJ: No one knows. So you think you can give me a quote that comes to mind with how your feeling?

DB: Well, something comes to mind from the Scottish play that I like a whole lot where he says:

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,

To the last syllable of recorded time;

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!

Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage

And then is heard no more. It is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury

Signifying nothing.

Not that I agree with it. But my God is it breathtaking.

PSJ: Now, I think you’re trying to depress me.  For a second there I thought you were referring to my performance though.

DB: (Laughs.)

PSJ: I’m sure it’s what a more poetic Everret Evans would write about me. Well Doc, on behalf of everyone who has learned Shakespeare from you. student or audience member. Thanks for everything. I hope you have been overjoyed with everything you have done for us.

DB: I have been. I thank God everyday for having this opportunity to do what I love and share what I love. It couldn’t have been better.

And afterwards go see Scatter! The best college improv troupe in the southwest. They’ve recently lost their space but they’ll find a place to perform. Check their facebook fan page for updates.

The best thing about this is that the website used a formula that not only looked at the outside but the inside as well…and they made a list of ugly people….Maybe they’re the real ugly ones? I’m just saying. Would people that are beautiful on the inside really judge ugly people? Probably. If they were really ugly. Well, at least we have personality…right?

Today I would like to write about something that is close to my heart…The Houston Oilers, and their jerseys.

Take a good look there. That’s not a vintage shot of the Houston Oilers. That’s the Tennessee Titans Hall of Fame Game versus the Bills. Now these are some cool kick-booty jerseys and most people probably love the fact that these threads will be on the field this year. Except for people in Houston. Now it’s really been making me angry how national media has been critical of Houston fans frowning on these jerseys. The reason Houston fans isn’t because of the ridiculous reasons that people have been spouting off, (I’m not even going to list some of the ridiculousness that has been said) the real reason is simple. We Houston fans HATE the Titans. The Houston Oilers left here leaving us with a void. A Big Texas city with no football team. What were we supposed to do? Become Cowboy fans? Then the Titans become a really good dominant team and all Oilers fans could do was think that should be our team. Then when we get our team we are in the same division as the Titans. Texans fans have this hatred for the Titans because Bud Adams (The Houston Oilers/Tennessee Titans Owner) took football away from us, scorned us and now, by wearing our old jerseys, he mocks us. Those are our jerseys and our rivals our wearing them. It’s as if the Yankees wore Mets throw back jerseys. It’s as if the Baltimore Ravens wore Browns jerseys. It’s as if I went through your old wedding pictures and pasted my face over yours. It’s just wrong.

But there’s nothing we can do. Bud Adams is crazy. All of my good memories of the Houston Oilers are being trampled on. The Oilers are dead and I don’t want anyone digging up that grave and parading it around. I’m not “hurt” by this, I just think it’s stupid.