I'm not famous. My mom thinks I'm cool.

New Muppets teaser trailer.

From The Darewolves show last August. A Lusk/Salazar collabo…

I’m a Houston sports fan.

Really that’s the answer in and of itself. I grew up wearing a #1 Warren Moon jersey. I went to the Astrodome at ever chance I got. I would ordered Sports Illustrated in the Fourth Grade so I could get the “Clutch City” documentary that tracked the Rockets championship season. (I also got “Clutch City 2″.) I’m embarrassed to admit it…but I even owned a Tony Bosselli jersey. Part of being a true Houston sports fan is despising Dallas.

Dallas is basically this annoying younger brother of Houston that get’s all the love and adoration of the nation. There is an ESPN Dallas, The Cowboys were America’s Team, Nolan Ryan distances himself from being an Astro and works with the Rangers, most people assume Dallas is the biggest city in Texas because of the old TV show “Dallas.” H-Town is perpetually in the sports shadow of Big D and it makes us sick. Yeah we’re bitter! Houston is the biggest metropolis in the state, the fourth biggest city in the nation and we’re cast in the shadow. It stings. It’s as if we’re Jan to Dallas’ Marsha. (If Jan actually could compete with Marsha.)

Watching the finals this year was rough on a Houston fan. Who to cheer for? The rivals you’ve hated all your life? Or the team made by LeBron James in it’s first season?

The South Beach Heat are the target of every traditional basketball fan. It’s the result of how powerful players are in the NBA. They are basketball’s villians. LeBron James makes himself tough to cheer for, I couldn’t root for the Heat. On the other hand, how could I cheer for Jason Terry or Dirk Nowitski? I’ve despised these guys for years. If I cheered for the Dallas Mavericks I’d have to relinquish my ketchup and mustard Hakeem Olajawon jersey.

I watched this series hating booth teams wondering how I would feel when one of them would eventually be crowned champs. As the series went on I was able to watch Dirk Nowitski’s offensive prowess without being on the receiving end of the attack. I was able to watch LeBron continually become the invisible man in the fourth quarter. I was also able to laugh at Dirk’s ability to play defense and be saddened by what’s left of Juwan Howard. And now the Mavericks are champs. My annoying neighbors to the north will have the spotlight on them again and I’ll hear about it incessantly.

This is what I have learned from this year’s finals:

• LeBron can’t win alone. But the Heat will be back. Stronger and hungrier.
• JJ Barea just reminded me of Aaron Brooks.
• I have a newfound respect for Dirk. I still hate him and probably always will.
• Dirk is not a top ten of all-time player because of atrocious defense. He’s a skilled offensive weapon. A big guy that shoots above his head with a nearly unblockable shot.
• Spolestra is a decent coach but will only last until LeBron speaks out against him, next season?
• I’ll never like Jason Terry.
• Dwayne Wade deserves more of LeBron.
• Brian Cardinal might be my favorite Mav. That dude didn’t let anyone have an easy shot. You need a guy like that, ready to foul, old school yo.
• Dallas may have a championship but unless they win again next year and have back-to-back, I don’t want to hear it.

Here’s a sketch that a buddy of mine is in. Check it out!

The Job Interview by The Distinguished Gentlemen